Wednesday, June 3, 2009

No Regrets

I was reading an always enlightening blog from a favorite blogger of mine, sendchocolate ref and it brought up a lot of memories for me. It reminded me of a conversation about life I had with a real "up close and personal" friend of mine just the other day. Our conversation revolved around balancing living your life to the fullest while minimizing, or more importantly, in anticipation of regrets.

When I was of age to be married (we'll just say over ten years ago, way over), many of my friends were getting married or at the least engaged to be married within the next two years. This would put them married just on the other side of twenty. It might cause a grunt of disbelief now, but back then one didn't reach the age of thirty and remain single without a reason.

Now, perhaps those friends of mine that did purposefully marry before the age of twenty had lived what they considered a full life (I know one of them did, anyway), but I had led a relatively sheltered life up to that point and I was wise (or stubborn) enough to know that I had not.

You see, I believed that once I became married and started a family that my life would change immeasurably (understatement) and I would not be able to pursue things that a single and unentangled woman might (husbands tend to frown on carousing). Therefore, I made it my mission to "live the Charlene song". Have you heard this song? It was one of those one hit wonders of the 1970s made popular in the early 80s . Do you know it? Okay, forget the hokey speaking part near the end, but really listen to the lyrics. I took that to heart. I told myself, "One day I'm going to be holding a screaming infant at 2 o'clock in the morning after a pissy day. I want to know at that moment that I have missed nothing. I want to kiss that tiny screaming infant and know I am right where I'm supposed to be."

So, I did it. I came as close to "living the Charlene song" as I cared to and loved every single minute of it. I have some great memories - some I'll gladly share and some that are just for me. Regrets? Sure, some. See, you can't really live life and NOT have a few. But I did hold that screaming infant at 2AM after a pissy day (more than once) and I did kiss that little wrinkled brow and hold him closer because I was ready for it. I was where I was supposed to be at that moment and I had missed nothing.

So, live your life, build your memories and do so trying your best to do it without regrets, realizing that you will fail in the regrets portion. Because the truth of the matter is, YOU are largely responsible for stoking the fire that will forge the person you were meant to be at this moment...and then this moment...and then..

Live well, love all, be true to who you were meant to be and not one ounce less.